A new day, a new change

I swear Corbin is reading my blog, listening to my conversations, and taking notes on what I am waiting for in regards to his development.

Yesterday, he graduated from "wiggly worm" to....WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN THERE?! He started in the morning, when I was lying in bed with my knees bent up, one leg crossed over the other. (If that didn't make sense, just forget it. Not important.) I may have been squishing him a little bit, because I kept feeling movement, wavy wiggling squirming movement, so I put my hand really low on my abdomen where I felt the movement, and he kicked a couple of strong solid kicks. I have been trying so hard to feel him with my hand and have gotten so used to feeling only my heartbeat (in my major arteries down there, and also in my fingertips) but these kicks were so strong and I felt them on the inside and outside at the same time. No doubt it was Corbin kicking. His wiggles and now kicks have been directly in the middle, really really low. It's as if he is standing completely upright in there.

He continued the kicks off and on all day and night, and as he has been since 13 weeks, he was most active while I was sitting very still at my desk at work for four hours. I couldn't even stop to sit and keep my hand there to feel him because my work requires both hands for my keyboard and mouse and two monitors and lots of time management...... so I figured we would feel him when I got home, and Conner would be able to feel him after hearing me hype it up so much all day.

Once I was in the car and driving and moving and then home, Corbin decided it was time to sleep. :-(

It is now 7:30 in the morning, and he's just now starting to move a little bit. I'm sure he moved last night, but it is not strong enough to wake me up yet. For that, I thank you, baby boy.

Pretty soon, I will be on a schedule where I will be spending my days at work, evenings at home with Conner. It has been an adjustment to be working nights while Conner is at home, but we have made it work just fine for us since February. If Corbin's active time is going to be evenings, his daddy will be getting to feel him all the time pretty soon!

Before we found out the gender, Conner referred to this baby as his future soccer star. More specifically, future U.S. Women's Soccer champ (when we were so sure it was a girl). He's quite active! I am sure he'll love sports, and be just as athletic as his dad. I hope I hope I HOPE he does not get his athleticism from me. Maybe I will pass on my appreciation of sleeping through the night.

Baby wiggles and unexpected dreams

Corbin recently "turned" (as so many mommies in crazy online forums call it). We went from constant flutters that felt like bubbles/butterflies/popcorn on my lower right side to now.....uhhhh a big ol' worm wiggling and swimming. Before this new wiggly feeling, he was very mellow for almost a week. It alarmed me, but I did enough Googling to not be too afraid. It seemed normal for the next step. Then we had a couple of days where he wanted to kick me once or twice or create this rolling motion. It felt like my intestines were getting rocked! And now finally, for a few days now, he is a worm. Or maybe a larger animal, like a snake. He's slithering and swimming and turning around and wiggling his arms and legs and it TICKLES! And it's almost constant! He's very active in there, but still not active enough to let us feel actual kicks from the outside. I know they're coming though, and I know I will be eating my words and wishing he would settle down and stop kicking and let me sleep. :-)

Last night, I had a dream about his birth. It's my first one, and it was pretty bizarre. I started off by waking up and not knowing where I was or why I felt so achy...Conner was sitting with me and explained that I was in the hospital. I remembered nothing about being there, or coming there, or anything leading up to why I might have been there. Next to my bed was one of those hospital rolling clear-sided bassinets with a black-haired baby sleeping in it. It was Corbin, and I knew it was Corbin but I didn't understand how or why he was there. His hair was long and really thick...he had a TON of black hair. Conner proceeded to explain to me that I had gone in to a routine appointment and my obgyn had decided that Corbin was getting too big and so they scheduled me in right away for a c-section. The drugs given to me for my c-section also affected my memory (weird right?). Conner told me that Corbin was born on December 2nd, and I immediately panicked because that would mean he was born at 31 weeks....but Conner said, "No no no! He's fine! He weighs 8.9 pounds!" (By the way, I don't know if that number or that date mean anything, but I remember them clearly.) Sure enough, Corbin was perfectly healthy and big and doing just fine, lungs functioning perfectly, everything about him was perfect. Then I picked up my phone to start telling people, but I was so heartbroken to see that it was December 3rd and I had been sleeping the entire first day of his life....and everyone knew he had been born. There were missed calls and texts from people congratulating us, but the worst part was seeing photos of SO MANY people on my Facebook who were posed holding Corbin and it seemed like he had been held by everyone except me.

And then I woke up.

Past the halfway point, at a whopping 21 weeks!

I missed the 20-week photo because life got a little bit busy for a few days. I won't even bother trying to get a photo tonight because I know between football and a late dinner and being exhausted, it just won't happen. So this is a photo I took with my phone this morning. Corbin is getting big! I'm happy that the rest of me is not growing.

How many weeks today: 21 :-)
Baby is the size of: a banana.

Total weight gain/loss: I am not positive, but I'd say about +4.

Maternity clothes: Yes. And I love them!

Cravings: Last night, I baked pieces of cauliflower covered in cayenne pepper. At the same time, I cooked canned chopped spinach and artichoke hearts with garlic, oregano, and olive oil. I think it's safe to say I'm loving veggies and still (always) loving spicy!
Aversions: None.

Mood: I'm hopeful and happy and excited as always, but also getting more concerned about our birth as it approaches. I always have a slight worry in the back of my mind that something can go wrong, but for the most part, I am comfortable with the idea of giving birth and trusting that all will go well and Corbin will be healthy and safe. What I'm not comfortable with is how the atmosphere will be.... how our company will be, how comfortable I will be when I will be trying to focus and breathe and distract myself with our "toolbox" of methods while I have a few family members in there who will no doubt be bored or want to intervene with what they think I should do or try to make jokes the whole time....or worse, people who will PANIC and be alarmed and get ME panicking. Thinking about that scenario frustrates me. I know it's a bad attitude to have, but I feel like this is something that is for US. It's something WE have a plan for, and WE have paid money to go to classes that will prepare us.... I don't want it all thrown out the window because of one wrong choice in having too many people in the room. If labor isn't progressing the way it should because I can't relax, I also don't want the guilty feeling that comes with kicking people out. I dunno. This isn't something I need to worry about right now, but it was brought up in our class and is definitely on my mind. Is it silly that I also want to be the one to announce Corbin's birth on Facebook? I don't want our birth experience to be hijacked, I guess. I want it to be a special experience for US. And "US" is Conner, Corbin, and myself. Our instructor made a very good point last night: She said that this is not something we need an audience for. No one needs to be present who just wants to observe. It's an effort, and a huge one at that, and anyone in the room needs to be a calm, supportive participant.... or get the hell out of the room. ;-)
Physical symptoms: I'm feelin' pretty good! My biggest complaint is still these headaches, which are never horrible, but just a pain in the butt. I still get them daily. I also started getting some aches and pains in my hips, lower back, and thighs. Sitting on my new birthing ball definitely helps that, and I am working muscles that I don't get to work when I sit anywhere else, and it helps with stretching. Another new(ish) pain for me is Round Ligament pain, which is pretty harmless and doesn't last for long, but always scares me because it is literally pain in the ligaments that are holding my uterus where it is, so the location always alarms me. More stretching and water and rest always always always helps relieve those pains though.

Miss anything: These days... privacy. Unplugging. Aggghhhh! I say that as I blog my emotions and thoughts.

Showing yet: Yes.

Labor signs: Nope.

Baby movement: Yes- He has been pretty mellow and it worried me for a few days, because the fluttery feeling completely disappeared and was replaced by more of a rolling sensation that comes a few times a day. On Saturday, I was leaning down with one leg propped up on the tub edge and shaving my legs and I was definitely squishing my uterus. It wasn't painful, but it was uncomfortable for a minute. I felt some wiggling, put my hand on my bump, and Corbin gave me one solid kick as if to say, "Hey Mom, I need more room in here!" Since then, I have only felt two kicks.... he is still growing stronger and bigger, and I am still learning what will make him kick and how to feel him. Hopefully soon we can share the feeling with other people who want to try (ie. Uncle Cameron, who was excited to feel last week, but no activity was going on).
Wedding rings on or off: On.

Items purchased for baby this week: I have a Babies R Us giftcard and a 20% off coupon, so I'm thinking I will go buy something for him today or tomorrow.

How is Daddy doing: Daddy is doing great! He admits that although he does not enjoy sacrificing Sunday Night Football, we are getting lots of information out of our natural childbirth class. He doesn't enjoy sitting on his knees being put to work to massage me or hold me in some position that is recommended but not necessarily comfortable for either of us, but we both willingly participate and get through the class. At break time, he checks the scores while we snack on string cheese and apples, so that's always a welcomed break. He is excited for the holidays coming up. Halloween will be here before we know it, and then after Thanksgiving we will be up in Washington with his family and Christmas will be right around the corner. The holidays also represent a couple of months that will fly by and put us in the third trimester and then in the final weeks counting down to our big day.
Favorite moment this week: I had a huge smile on my face after I felt Corbin kick me in the shower, and it made me prettttttty happy.

Looking forward to: The Seahawks game tonight, which I will have to hear about via anyone at work looking up scores on their phones. Maternity photos. A visit from Betty Ann and Dennis in just a few weeks. The Black Keys concert.

Ahhh finally.... the halfway mark! 20 week update

(I will post a picture tonight, after Conner can take one of me...)


How many weeks today: 20! The weeks are flying by when I think of how close the third trimester is, then think about how close 30 weeks is, then how close February 4th is. If I think backwards, ie. halfway to where we are now was 10 weeks, it seems like it took forever. So forward thinking it is!

Baby is the size of: a small cantaloupe! Mmmmm.

Total weight gain/loss: I was +7 on Thursday. This morning I am proud to say that I am +3 TOTAL. Yayyyy me! I mean yayyyy us, Corbin!

Maternity clothes: Yes!

Cravings:  Still big on cooking dinners vs buying them. I have been wanting coffee quite a bit lately, but "quite a bit" is currently once a week. ONE cup a week. It's a real treat! My other craving for the past week has been seafood, so I had some seafood salad, which is really just cooked imitation crab meat with too much dressing... purchased from Vons, and NOT impressive. Last night, I mixed up some tuna with a teeny tiny bit of mayo, some cumin and cayenne, diced tomato, garlic, green onion, and a little bit of Cougar Gold. I filled tomato halves and bell pepper halves with the tuna mixture and baked them for about 20 minutes until everything was hot and cheese was melted.... it was pretty damn good!

Aversions: None but I just remembered as I am doing this update that for the past two weeks at least, I have been completely disgusted by the smell of our dogs' food. That's the worst smell to me at the moment, and doesn't even cause any damage, so I'd say we are still in good shape.

Mood: Today, I am happy and excited. Yesterday, I was slightly concerned because I did not feel Corbin as much as usual. Today is a new day, and I happily celebrated my weight loss and 20-week milestone with a Diet Coke this morning, so maybe that will get him up and moving.

Physical symptoms: I'm feelin' pretty good! My biggest complaint is still these headaches, which are never horrible, but just a pain in the butt. I still get them daily. I also started getting some aches and pains in my hips, lower back, and thighs. Sitting on my new birthing ball definitely helps that, and I am working muscles that I don't get to work when I sit anywhere else, and it helps with stretching. Another new(ish) pain for me is Round Ligament pain, which is pretty harmless and doesn't last for long, but always scares me because it is literally pain in the ligaments that are holding my uterus where it is, so the location always alarms me. More stretching and water and rest always always always helps relieve those pains though.

Miss anything: Hmmm.... not that I can think of at the moment.

Showing yet: Yes.

Labor signs: Nope.

Baby movement: Yes, definitely more controlled and in patterns. He rests and wakes at intervals and I have no clue what is going on in there most of the time, but I am always happy when he is playing.

Wedding rings on or off: On.

Items purchased for baby this week: Nothing purchased, but I currently have a humongous box of baby boy clothes from Beasty. ;-)

How is Daddy doing: Daddy is constantly touching my belly and staring at our latest ultrasound photo of Corbin's face. He is very excited for February, and very excited to be a daddy, but I think with that comes a new kind of.... funk. He misses his family so much, and this is a huge event for us and he wants to be experiencing it with his family too. The upcoming visit from his parents will help, I know, and so will our trip up there during the holidays. I can't relate to him on this because I have never been away from my family, but I do imagine that it's incredibly difficult and I love and respect him for staying here with me and my family, forgoing weekly family time with his own family, and holding a great and steady job in a very expensive state and carrying me through it all. He's a good man, and does so much for our lives together.

Favorite moment this week: Seeing Corbin in 3D. :-)

Looking forward to: My walk that I'm about to go on. Seeing Betty Ann and Dennis in a few weeks. Halloween. Turkey Day with my family and Black Friday. Flying up to Washington at the end of November to see Conner's family. Christmas! Hitting the 30-weeks mark and counting down the last two months as they fly by. Groundhog Day, because that is my current guess for a birthdate. Superbowl Sunday, because that marks the end of this pregnancy (hopefully not long after that...). So so so much that we are looking forward to!

Corbin's anatomy scan at 19 1/2 weeks

We had our "20 week" ultrasound this morning, although we are a few days early, but that is the way my appointments have been going. Usually, doctors start seeing their patients around 8 weeks, but I was in at just over 7 weeks for my first appointment with him, and then they schedule me every four weeks. At 28 weeks, I will start to go in every two weeks for routine weight, blood pressure, baby's position, etc. checks. Sometime in the later weeks they will start checking my cervix, but I really really hope that's much later! From about 36 weeks until delivery, I will be in there every week.

So... our 19 1/2 week ultrasound..... It went really really well! I always dread going in to see my obgyn (since Day 1) because I feel like I am going to a Weight Watchers weigh-in meeting. I would even go so far as to say I panic the morning of our appointments, dreading what their scale will say and how much of a lecture I will get.

This morning was one of those kind of mornings where I worried because I KNOW I have not been eating as well as I should be, and have not walked at all lately. I don't count shopping in downtown L.A. as a whole lot of walking. My panic was for good reason.... I have gained 5 pounds this month! YIKES! That's a big "yikes" to me, because my goal was 2 pounds per month. However, almost 5 pounds in four weeks of a pregnancy is not as bad as my reaction makes it seem.... my doctor was fine with it, it's not crazy unhealthy or alarming, and it puts me at a total of just under 7 pounds. It's still okay. My blood pressure is still good, baby is still great, all is still well. BUT I know that I can do better, and HE knows I can do better, so I still got a mini lecture about eating-this-not-that, walk more, etc. He was very nice about it.

We had a pretty great view of Corbin as our doctor measured his head and thighs and whatever else he was doing. He confirmed that Corbin is still a boy, and based on his measurements of certain body parts, he's measuring at about 21 weeks. Not bad, baby boy! We did not get an actual length or a heart rate, but did see his heart pumping nice and strong. We briefly saw his face in 3D, which was plenty long enough to see he is looking very much like a Clancy boy. When I showed the photos to my mom, she immediately saw Taven's features! I see it, although the more I look at his picture, the more I see new features and different people in him. I still don't see any McAteer, unless you count massive feet and lots of hair. We don't even know for sure if we see hair.... but it certainly looks like a hairline. I have a ton of hair and Conner is doing pretty well on his head too, so this baby will have hair early on for sure. Either way, no matter who he looks like, he is an adorable combination of the two of us.... or ALL of us in both families. He's pretty perfect! And his looks will change and we will be getting clearer images later on, we think. (Maybe another 3D scan around 28 weeks.)

Seeing his face took it all to a whole new level....again. Seeing a heartbeat and a fetal pole at 6 weeks was incredible. Seeing nubs for arms and legs growing in was even better. Seeing him move and wiggle an arm was amazing. Finding out his gender was a huge milestone. BUT NOW HE HAS A FACE! And he was smiling and kicking and cuddling his hand up to his face and sucking and he yawns and gets hiccups and he's a BABY. He's so much more of a baby now, and in just a short amount of time. What a trip!

Here he is...... Corbin David Clancy...

19 1/2 weeks

 

 

7 1/2 weeks (the start of his "nub" arms and legs)

19 weeks!

Showing my 19 week belly was not enough...I had to compare. At 5 weeks, yeah of course that gut is not a baby, it's all me. I STARTED with a belly. But not the belly shown in my 19 week photo. This guy is growing quickly, and coming OUT. :-)

 



How many weeks today: 19

Baby is the size of: a big 6 inch heirloom tomato. The average measurement for this week is 6 inches, but Corbin was about 6 inches two weeks ago at the gender ultrasound.

Total weight gain/loss: +3 pounds! I'm quite pleased with that.

Maternity clothes: Yes!

Cravings:  We are both (or all three) back on a cooked home meals kick this week and loaded up the fridge and pantry with veggies, fruit, beans, chicken, etc. I am looking forward to fall weather (psh, yeah right!) and slow cooker soups. My latest must-haves this past weekend were peach-berry crisp made with yellow cake mix and served with OATMEAL BUTTERSCOTCH ice cream, Golden Spoon frozen yogurt, cinnamon rolls.... I think it's safe to say that although I pushed for veggies and fruit to be loaded into our grocery cart, I am loving sweets at the moment. Don't worry, I'm not getting out of hand. ;-)

Aversions: None. I wish it was sugar.

Mood: Excited about nursery plans, baby gear, relieved that I am finally done with my four-month research on strollers and decided on a travel system.

Physical symptoms: Still tired, having some backaches, although nothing too unbearable. My headaches are still present, still not too unbearable. I have had a change in my ever-present cramps.... now those cramps are accompanied by Round Ligament Pain along the sides of my uterus, and Corbin is moving quite a bit and the regular cramps are more of a rolled movement.... I keep using the term "alien practicing karate and world domination".

Miss anything: Not lately. :-)

Showing yet: Yes.

Labor signs: Not for awhile!

Baby movement: Oh yes! From 13 weeks until yesterday, I felt his "flutters" on my right side and ultrasounds have confirmed that his head is indeed on my left and feet are on the right. He seemed wedged into that position without trying too hard to move out of it... but constantly having kicking spurts throughout the day, with more activity in the evening and late at night. Those "flutters" have become stronger and definitely more controlled, it seems. Yesterday, he was kicking for a little while and then I felt this wave of movement and it almost made me nauseous.... then I felt him in the middle and down low. We went to our childbirth class, Daddy gave me an hour-long massage (because that's what they do in class... they put the dads to work) ;-) And when we came home, I felt Corbin kicking completely on my left. Then back on my right. I don't even know anymore! We have an ultrasound on Thursday so we will see his position then.

Wedding rings on or off: On! But tight. :(

Items purchased for baby this week: Nothing.

How is Daddy doing: Daddy is into Corbin more and more. A few nights ago, we were both lying in bed, with Conner's head on my belly as he listened to my stomach work, haha. He kept laughing because it sounded like doors creaking and monsters growling. He was listening for kicks, but I didn't want to tell him when Corbin kicked, I wanted to see if he actually heard him on his own. So right after Corbin started with his "flutters", Conner started tapping on me at the exact same pace and asked me if that tapping sound he heard was Corbin kicking. That made both of us happy. :-) Last night, he tried with his hand some more.... and he is pretty sure he felt a light kicking feeling! It's exciting! At our class last night, we re-introduced ourselves because we have new couples who joined, and we had to share our due date and something we are looking forward to with this baby. I was very proud of myself for NOT crying this time (last class, we had to share WHY we were taking the class and I got a little worked up). I said my name, we are having a boy, who is due February 4th, and I am excited for Christmas mornings, and creating the Santa stories, and "Elf on a Shelf". I also said that I'm excited to see if our baby gets my red hair, as I turned and shot Conner a joking look and let him take over..... and he introduced himself and said he is excited to teach his son how to be a Mario Kart champ, and he's excited for a gaming buddy. Games are a huge part of Conner, and I never really give in and play with him. :-( Corbin will be allowed to play plenty of video games and computer games with his Daddy! On our way home, we talked about other ideas we had for our introductions in class..... I said that I am excited to see Corbin play with his cousins, I'm excited to have the dogs get used to and love him, I'm excited for camping trips. Conner is excited to see his siblings hold our son, and I know in a way, he also meant that he is excited to have a son (or daughter, it never mattered) who he is proud to have been a part of creating.

Favorite moment this week: Did I mention that hour-long massage? :-) Favorite moments are now when Conner and Corbin get foot-to-ear and have a conversation.

Looking forward to: Everything. In the near future, our appointment on Thursday morning when we will see him bouncin' around in there. In the distant-but-not-too-distant future...Christmases, ginger baby, camping, fishing, Mario Kart, dog kisses and sharing our laps with one more, aunts and uncles, cousins, grandparents.

Growing

I am exhausted this past week. Absolutely exhausted, with or without a full night of sleep or a nap during the day. I am chugging water like no other, and I have been eating more frequently... I actually wake up in the middle of the night hungry now.

Normally, I do not drink milk by itself. It's usually in cereal, or with some kind of food that needs milk to accompany it, like peanut butter and jelly, or chocolate, or waffles. The only place where I absolutely love drinking milk with my dinner is in Kelso, WA. Maybe it's the yummy meals we have at Conner's parents' home, maybe it's something about Washington milk. Either way, you won't find me drinking a glass of milk at home.

Last night, I drank three tall glasses of milk with my dinner, and then woke up in the middle of the night wanting more milk. Whaaaaaaat??

Boobaloo... ummm I mean CORBIN... was measuring ahead at ALL of his ultrasounds, and at the last one, he was almost two weeks ahead. Looking on my pregnancy app on my phone, I see that the average growth rate around this time is about half an inch. It has been that way for awhile, no big deal. Looking ahead to 20 weeks and 21 weeks, this poor kid is scheduled to grow FOUR INCHES IN ONE WEEK. How is that even possible? Another body change for him right now is bone density... his bones are formed, but are in the process of hardening and becoming stronger. So now it all makes sense....the exhaustion, the protein cravings, the sudden urge to drink a gallon of milk. My body is working hard to grow the Hulk.

Baby's name...18 weeks!

We have decided on a name for our baby boy, and are very happy to be giving him a middle name after two very important people in our lives. The first is David Warren.... a man that I have never had the pleasure of knowing, but I feel like I somehow..DO know. He is a Cushman legend, and Conner has always viewed him as another father figure in his tightly-knit group of childhood friends, parents, and kids. I have heard countless stories about Dave, and everyone who shares one has a strong love for him and misses him dearly. The second person is my great-grandpa, Nana's dad... my Grandpa Jolly. I was not very old when he passed away, but I was old enough, and I have so many memories of spending time at his house or at Nana & Bompa's house swimming while Grandpa sat in the shade and watched us. I miss his hat, his bird, his candy, and every time he would grab my leg and tickle and ask if there was a bone in my leg.


Our baby's first name is Corbin. It fits with his cousins, whose names all end with the "n" sound :) and it fits my personal criteria of "not in the top 50 names of trendy names, but not so bizarre that people can't pronounce it." If you have seen the movie "The Fifth Element", yes, it is after THAT Corbin. :)

Corbin David Clancy

Now....18 weeks of Corbin-carrying!

Freaky, right? Here sits a baby who won't take any

breaks from these growth spurts.

How many weeks today:  18

Baby is the size of: a sweet potato. A very large sweet potato.

Total weight gain/loss: I am refusing to weigh myself after yesterday's bbq... but I am about the same weight.

Maternity clothes:  Yes!

Cravings: Fruit, nachos, Mexican food, soup, etc.

Aversions:  None.

Mood: Very happy, excited to be approaching the halfway point, and nervous that I will be a mommy to a very tiny and fragile human being pretty soon.

Physical symptoms: It seems like I have been thrown back into the 1st trimester this last week. It doesn't matter how much sleep I get, how many days I am able to squeeze a nap in, I am exhaaaaaausted! Absolutely exhausted! And achey here and there. Killer headaches have been bothering me, but nothing too painful or lasting more than a day or two.

Miss anything: Tequila. Ohhhhh tequila, I miss you so much. I will see you in February.

Showing yet: Yes. And I have been told by many that it all seemed to POP out this last week. If I didn't look pregnant before, I certainly do now.

Labor signs: Not for awhile!

Baby movement: Yes, he's quite a mover. He is still positioned so that his head is on the left and feet are on my right side, and that is where I feel kicks the most. His movements seem more controlled, not as frequent, and he certainly has patterns of activity and rest.

Wedding rings on or off: On! But tight. :( Could be from all of these salty foods I'm eating, or the heat.

Items purchased for baby this week: Nothing.

How is Daddy doing: Daddy loves my belly. He loves that we have decided on some names. He loves that our boy is measuring so big and healthy, and he is so excited to be able to feel kicks soon.

Favorite moment this week: Finalizing our son's name. Corbin David Clancy will be such a wonderful little baby boy!

Looking forward to: Feeling kicks with our hands.