Yes, I'm pregnant! It still seems so strange to type or say aloud. The "p" word. That thing that happens to women who are always older than me. That place I hope to be someday when I grow up. I haven't even fully adjusted to the words "husband", "wife", and "married" yet... now we are both talking about "pregnancy", "baby", "Mommy", and "Daddy". It's surreal! And it's scary! Oh man is it terrifying so far! While it was not an accident, we certainly did not expect to be getting a positive test in our first month, and now that it's confirmed and real, it's so scary and nerve-wrecking and I feel all too responsible for another life. It's too fragile and anything can happen, and I would do anything to prevent something bad if I could. On the other hand, it is the best thing to ever happen to us both, and the feeling is indescribable. If I am this happy and excited when the baby is just a little tiny bean, I can't imagine how I will feel when I meet him or her for the first time.
Anyways.. enough about my excitement and fears and totally gut-wrenching feeling that my stomach is in my throat most days..... Here is our story... I will try to leave the gross stuff out:
We are all adults, and we all know how these things happen, so I will give you the facts. Okay, and a little backstory.
My LMP was April 30th, five days before our wedding. Poor timing, body! It worked out though. What a fun wedding day! Scratch that, what a fun wedding weekend! I can't believe how many people came down from WA, and how many of our local family and friends made the drive to join us and celebrate us and love us and be with us on our special day. It was undoubtedly the best day of my life. I have never had so much fun!! I have also never danced so much with Conner. That is what I had hoped our wedding day would be about.... good company, great food, awesome music to dance to, and just FUN. And it was! On the Monday after our wedding weekend, we spent a fun day at Disneyland with the Clancys, Finnegans, and my parents and sister and Chiara. Fun fun fun! Then on Wednesday, Conner and I left for beautiful Palm Desert and we had the best time ever! We returned on Sunday, May 13th (Mothers Day). After we celebrated the day with my family, my aunt was hugging me and said, "Get pregnant soon so you can celebrate Mothers Day next year as a mom!" Obviously, that isn't the only reason to get pregnant, but, uhhhh....we did it! Sometime that week, something crazy and huge happened, and I started feeling like my allergies were the worst they had ever been in my life! They wouldn't even respond to Zyrtec, my go-to allergy remedy. I felt completely drained of all energy, but blamed it on wedding stress and constantly go-go-going and traveling a little, and decided that now we can rest and sleep and take 'er easy. The following Monday, the 21st of May, I was at work (evening shift) and wanted a Diet Coke, so I bought one from the vending machine. I took one big swig and immediately wanted to spit it out. It tasted awful! Like hairspray, or a bunch of chemicals in carbonated water. Blegh! That was the first time in a very long time that I did not finish a Diet Coke (and I haven't had one since!). All that week, I kept wondering...."Could I be...?" and little symptoms started to pop up. My weirdest and most memorable night that week was when I was driving home from work and I saw a baby coyote running along the side of the road. The fact that it was alone and looked scared, like it was looking for its family, made me cry! It probably doesn't mean anything, but it definitely stuck with me. That weekend, we went out with my brothers and sisters and some friends, and some physical symptoms started that night, that were not anything like the normal monthly complaints. I kept telling a couple of friends, "I think I'm pregnant! I really do think I am." and while Conner believed me, others were telling me to keep testing. All of my tests were negative, until Memorial Day afternoon. That morning, I had gotten another negative, and went to the grocery store to get some snacks for both of us as we celebrated Memorial Day at home. Any other month at that time, and I would have been grabbing salty and sweet, with chocolate or caramel being main ingredients. That day, I bought more fruit and some reeeeeally good seafood dip, and of course, another box of tests... this time the early detection ones! When I got home, Conner was playing a game on his computer and I was hell-bent on having seafood dip with pita chips before I gave myself another let-down with another negative test.
A little while later, we got our "BFP" (Big Fat Positive). Although it was faint, it was there, and I ran it over to Conner and put it in front of his face and oh-so-proudly-and-confidently said, "A faint line is still a line!" and he shot up and ran to the bathroom with me and we looked closely and turned it different angles and inspected the hell out of that test to make sure our eyes weren't playing tricks on us. A minute later, we were hugging each other and kissing and trying to hold tears back. Most people who know me, know that I love love love kids and have wanted to be a mom since I was a little girl. Conner also love love loves kids and is an awesome uncle and very patient and sweet with the kids that I babysit for, and he has wanted to become a dad for a long time. It's happening... it's actually happening!!!
I did some calculating, determined that I was exactly 4 weeks pregnant (starting from my LMP), and then I sent the photo of my test to two of my best friends who were following along as I was claiming I "HADDDD" to be pregnant, I just had to! I wanted to tell the whole world that day, but we decided to wait and see how things went, and wait until I got the big news confirmed by a professional.
The following day, I went to a local clinic, which is a non-profit Christian-volunteer-ran organization with some of the nicest people and the best equipment to confirm my pregnancy. They confirmed that I was indeed pregnant, although it was too early to do an ultrasound. They scheduled me to come back in two weeks, and I went on my merry way. In the meantime, I became a test junky and started to take one every day to make sure the line was getting darker (later, I learned this is not an accurate way to learn ANYTHING), and the line did get a little darker. There is no mistaking it on all of the tests!
At 6 weeks 1 day, I went back to the clinic because I was anxious to see what we could possibly see on an ultrasound, and my doctor would not see me until 7 or 8 weeks. I don't know what I expected to see that day, but I was blown away. They saw the gestational sac immediately, and inside it was the yolk sac and a little speck of a baby, plain as day. And in the center of that little speck baby was a pulsing heartbeat!! I was floored! It was a great first glimpse.
At 7 weeks 3 days, I was able to have my first official appointment with my doctor, whom I love! Conner came with me, and we both had a very pleasant experience with the nurses and the doctor himself. He took his time answering our questions and going over each part of the whole visit with us.... right down to the ultrasound where we got to see our little bub again (now grown!) and an even healthier heartbeat. That day, the baby measured first at 7 weeks and 4 days, then another measurement showed 7 weeks and 2 days. He informed us that it's safe to say I was 7 weeks and 3 days and measuring right on track, with a strong heartbeat of 146. We left feeling relieved and comfortable and excited.
Here are a few ultrasound photos from our 7w3d appointment..... Enjoy!! And look for more updates to come very soon!
~Cassie
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